The Venkys have caused quite a stir since they moved in at Ewood Park. They have wasted no time in trying to usurp Mike Ashley as the Premier Leagues most fowl owners. Sacking Sam Allardyce and appointing Steve Kean has not gone down well with the Ewood Park faithful. The Venkys are already known for making outlandish claims and predictions, the strangest of which is that they expect to be a top 5 team but will only give the poultry sum of £5m to the manager to achieve this.
Well I say move over Steve Kean, this is a job for TG. If it is big-big savings you want then I am your man. Plucked purely from the January transfer window, here is my top five Premier League team for just £1.6m. That's right, £3.4m that can be spared for a marquee signing such as Ronaldinho, Pele or Eusebio. Or it could go towards the inevitable payoffs following managerial sackings. Either way, it's cheaper than a chicken drumstick.
GK - Ricardo - free - Proven experience between the sticks, 80 international caps and he doesn't need gloves for penalties - Another saving!
DF - Lubo Michalik - free - Another international with premier league experience from his days at Bolton.
DF - Darren Purse - free - you won't need to open you Purse here. Uncompromising defender and natural leader.
DF - Danny Shittu - free - Solid, strong international defender with frankly one of the best names in football if you are twelve years old.
DF - Pascal Chimbonda - free - Great attacking full back, will definitely ask for a transfer after one season so guaranteed profit! - $$$
MF - Malvin Kamara -free - OK he has one cap for Sierra Leone but he is still an international player.
MF - Alan Gow -free - Tricky attacking player who just needs the right motivator(TG) to shine.
MF - Kenny Miller - £400k - OK so I'm opening the chequebook for the first time here with Kenny Miller. Given service he scores. It's simple. International experience and silverware in Scotland. Not bad for £400k.
MF - Marc Bridge-Wilkinson -free - Reliable wide man. If you read our article on Chris Marsden you will know that some players star will burn brightest at the end of their career and Marc is a candidate for that category.
ST - Matty Fryatt - £1.2m - OK, OK, I'm being a bit decadent here. Fryatt is the classic form-player. He will have his lean spells but then he will go on a blitz. He is a player that can give a team momentum, and being the heartless football-management machine that I am, as soon as he gets 15 goals he will be dropped instantly knowing that he may well offer little else for the remainder of the season.
ST- Steffan Iversen - free - The classic target man, Norwegian international and with a bulging trophy cabinet to boot(including a league cup medal from his Spurs days).
Now this doesn't take into account any loan signings, or transfers with undisclosed fees, or Blackburn's existing playing staff(some of who may be marginally better than Malvin Kamara or Marc Bridge-Wilkinson) and i think you will agree it would waltz into the top four. So Venkys, when it's time for Steve Kean to fly the coup, you know who you need to call(reverse charges of course) to deliver your budget dream team. TG of Armchair Gurus.
Welcome to Armchair Gurus. MB and TG here to take you through the current hot topic - John Terry and the England captaincy. First up in favour of the move is our very own Blue, MB.
Captain Fantastic.
Some of you will think of John Terry as a tireless leader and others of you will think of him as... well... I'll let my fellow armchair guru, TG, discuss that.
John Terry is both an inspiration on the pitch and a genuine badass. A man who will literally put his body on the line for his team. Sure, his pace has been lacking the last few years but JT makes up for that with a knack for being in the right place at the right time and having a head made of pure concrete.
JT missed that champions league final penalty... A penalty which sent me into a rage, I punched a wheelie bin, pulled some wallpaper off the wall and generally became an angry boozed up ass. But he has never said after that it didn't make a difference. John Terry has said that the moment plays on his mind everyday. Regardless of what else you think about him, I far prefer that brave, upfront honesty to the cocky nature of Cristiano Ronaldo.
Think about this:
Nani gets challenged and stays down, screaming for a bit and maybe crying a few crocodile tears.
John Terry stays down for longer than 30 seconds and shows clear signs of being in pain.
How often do you see these things?
John Terry is an honest, hard working footballer. And sure, his private life isn't that honest nor is it something to be discussed within a blog about sport. I don't believe in celebrity stardom or fame and I feel it unfair to judge someone about their private life when it should remain as such.
Finally, John Terry is a winner. A big game player. A man who rallies his troops. 3 premiership wins, 4 FA cups, 2 league cups, PFA player of the year (2006) and European defender of the year (2006).
Welcome back Captain. - MB
TG - I can't be having any of that!
Now, it should be made clear that I support Manchester United so John Terry is not on my 'all-time-footballing-heroes-that-maybe-are-the-second-coming-of-Jesus' list. Is he a good defender? -Yes. Should he be an england regular? - Yes, probably. Do I like it when he takes penalties in champions league finals...oh lawdy mama yes, yes, yes!
Here's the thing; this is a debate that we at the Chateaux have been having for a long time. Long before JTs matinee idol good looks and Byronesque charms got him in hot water. Put simply, his record as England captain is terrible.
Who was captain during the farcical reign under Steve McClaren, when England's so called 'golden generation' failed to even qualify for Euro 2008? That's right, our man JT. Some may point out that he was injured for some of the qualifying campaign, but isn't unreliability due to injury why Rio Ferdinand is being replaced? You can't tell me a fully fit Rio wouldn't make the starting XI.
Terry is a good captain for Chelsea but as the local boy come good he cannot do wrong there. Terry openly criticised Capello during the world cup and has done little to endear himself to fans or fellow players with his off-field shenanigans.
But we can agree on one thing. Here at the Chateaux we love comitted defending and it doesn't get much better than when someone is willing to summon the spirit of a salmon in order to get his face on the ball(although he didn't block it so I can only assume that if he were indeed a salmon natural selection would have seen to it that he would have been eaten by a bear).
Let us know what you think, we love disregarding other people's opinions so what is your take on the Captain Fantastic debate?
