Budgetburn Rovers

The Venkys have caused quite a stir since they moved in at Ewood Park. They have wasted no time in trying to usurp Mike Ashley as the Premier Leagues most fowl owners. Sacking Sam Allardyce and appointing Steve Kean has not gone down well with the Ewood Park faithful. The Venkys are already known for making outlandish claims and predictions, the strangest of which is that they expect to be a top 5 team but will only give the poultry sum of £5m to the manager to achieve this. 


Well I say move over Steve Kean, this is a job for TG. If it is big-big savings you want then I am your man. Plucked purely from the January transfer window,  here is my top five Premier League team for  just £1.6m. That's right, £3.4m that can be spared for a marquee signing such as Ronaldinho, Pele or Eusebio. Or it could go towards the inevitable payoffs following managerial sackings. Either way, it's cheaper than a chicken drumstick.


GK - Ricardo - free - Proven experience between the sticks, 80 international caps and he doesn't need gloves for penalties - Another saving!
DF - Lubo Michalik - free - Another international with premier league experience from his days at Bolton.
DF - Darren Purse - free - you won't need to open you Purse here. Uncompromising defender and natural leader.
DF - Danny Shittu - free - Solid, strong international defender with frankly one of the best names in football if you are twelve years old.
DF - Pascal Chimbonda - free - Great attacking full back, will definitely ask for a transfer after one season so guaranteed profit! - $$$
MF - Malvin Kamara -free - OK he has one cap for Sierra Leone but he is still an international player.
MF - Alan Gow -free - Tricky attacking player who just needs the right motivator(TG) to shine.
MF - Kenny Miller - £400k - OK so I'm opening the chequebook for the first time here with Kenny Miller. Given service he scores. It's simple. International experience and silverware in Scotland. Not bad for £400k.
MF - Marc Bridge-Wilkinson -free - Reliable wide man. If you read our article on Chris Marsden you will know that some players star will burn brightest at the end of their career and Marc is a candidate for that category.
ST - Matty Fryatt - £1.2m - OK, OK, I'm being a bit decadent here. Fryatt is the classic form-player. He will have his lean spells but then he will go on a blitz. He is a player that can give a team momentum, and being the heartless football-management machine that I am, as soon as he gets 15 goals he will be dropped instantly knowing that he may well offer little else for the remainder of the season.
ST- Steffan Iversen - free - The classic target man, Norwegian international and with a bulging trophy cabinet to boot(including a league cup medal from his Spurs days).


Now this doesn't take into account any loan signings, or transfers with undisclosed fees, or Blackburn's existing playing staff(some of who may be marginally better than Malvin Kamara or Marc Bridge-Wilkinson) and i think you will agree it would waltz into the top four. So Venkys, when it's time for Steve Kean to fly the coup, you know who you need to call(reverse charges of course) to deliver your budget dream team. TG of Armchair Gurus.